Morning musings, again.

Not that this is a huge surprise to those who know me, but I am a task kinda girl. I can make sense of tasks that lead me to a goal or a finished product.  I write lists to keep my brain organized.  The other day I wrote down every single thing I could think of that I needed to do for work and for home, just so I could stop constantly thinking about it all.  One of my favorite things to do is cross things off my list. Sometimes I play a little game with myself... I write down a task like, "Pay the electric bill". But, wait I've already paid it (like I don't realize that I just paid it 8.6 seconds ago) and so I immediately cross it off.  Feels so good. 

The tasks can be overwhelming, though, and distract me from the enjoyable things of life. I hate the nagging feeling that I should be doing something.  Let me tell you there's always something to do.  Some days the tasks are debilitating.  There's so much to do and I don't know where to start, so I do nothing.  Those days are the worst.  I get no tasks done and I don't even enjoy the time that I didn't do anything.

This morning the weather was beautiful. The kind of day we all dream about on January 12th in the middle of the cold, dark winter.  Warm, a slight breeze and sunny, with the smell of grass growing in the air and birds chirping everywhere.  I came outside with my coffee and the dogs and I did nothing. Well, no tasks.  I didn't even think about what I needed to do.  It was glorious and refreshing. God often meets me in those quiet, uncluttered places, when I almost least expect it, and gives me the hope and endurance that I need to joyfully return to the things need to be done.  When I let go of all the expectations and pressure of everyday life, even if only for a few moments, I am able to more fully grasp the love of those around me and I have more energy to love others more fully as well.  As much I thrive in getting things crossed off my list, I am reminded that I can't allow myself to only be defined by the things that I do.  I am so much more than that.  As I wrestle between my desire to accomplish tasks, but also be present with those around me, I find that every once in awhile I need these still mornings to bring me to a place of balance and clarity. The coffee helps too.